New Year's Eve and early January

I've now taken four pregnancy tests, two of them digital so there's no trick lines to play with me. All four positive. I am definitely pregnant; I think.

My stomach issues since early December when I was on antibiotics have only gotten worse and then out of nowhere actually getting out bed became very difficult. I figure this is morning sickness, maybe.

It's New Year's Eve. The boys were with their mother for the holiday this year. We've always celebrated big as a family or on our own. My birthday is Jan. 3rd and my husband has a special knack for making New Year's Eve through my birthday as one big party. For my 30th he took me to Las Vegas for both. To ring in 2009 we partied all night with fireworks with our boys. They went to their mom's for New Year's Day and after we said goodbye we flew to Mexico to go on our belated honeymoon. We rode roller coasters in Mexico City then flew to the coast to start a cruise through the Panama Canal. The day we left port was my birthday. So now it's time to ring in 2010 and I could barely keep my eyes open.

We both work at news stations and had planned to party after the late newscasts. Instead we went home and watched some TV. On the way home I cried and apologized for being a dud. Shawn just chuckled, "You're an oven. You only need to worry about cooking Plurk." So home we went.

TIMEOUT: right now you're saying, Plurk? Yes, well my dear husband decided to nickname our baby after the social networking site. Plurk to tease me a little for what some say is my obsession with social media. I say it's not an obsession, but a great use of new tools in my job, in an industry that is evolving and desperately needs to understand how social networking fits into today and the future! I laughed when he came up with it and Plurk stuck.

My birthday was the same day as the last home Broncos game. For Christmas I surprised my stepsons by getting us all tickets to the game and regardless of how I felt, I couldn't let the boys down. I had to go to the game. The Broncos lost but the boys had fun. Then we went out to dinner with Shawn's mom and stepdad. Once again I knew I had to pretend to drink. Instead of ordering my usual wine, I told everyone I wanted a frozen mixed drink. The waiter took our orders and as he left I got up and asked him where the restrooms were.

As I walked away from the table with the waiter I whispered that I needed my drink, and any others I ordered, to be virgin. "Listen, I'm pregnant. We're not telling anyone yet, so please make all my drinks virgin but pretend they're the real thing!" He agreed and played the part beautifully. I could tell he loved playing a part in a scheme. He asked me specific questions about my alcoholic drink, like on it's strength and taste. No one knew it was fake! Even Shawn looked at me with question. Once in the car on the way home, I let Shawn in on the secret. We laughed at my cunning.

The following week morning sickness hit hard and became a 24-hour event for me. If I wasn't sleeping, I was at work or sick in the bathroom. Smells of cooking or cleaning brought on immediate nausea and rushes to the bathroom. I tried everything the books on pregnancy suggested. I quickly found that crackers do not help my nausea! I'd find something I could tolerate one day and the next day the thought of it would turn my stomach.

Even with all of this though, I still questioned every day. "Am I really pregnant? Or have I made this all up in my head and the physical is just the reaction of this grand illusion I've created?" My first appointment with my doctor was Jan. 11. I knew then all my disbelief would be put to rest. With my medical history and my obvious anxiousness in my voice the nurse scheduled me a little earlier to be seen by the doctor than normal. She normally has women in for their first O.B. appointment in weeks eight to 10 when it's easier to see and measure the baby. She saw me when I was almost seven weeks.

At the doctors office I was weighed, blood samples were drawn, blood pressure was taken and I gave a urine sample. We talked about morning sickness. We discussed my medical history. The doctor explained I am at at-risk pregnancy due to my medical history, but assured me she thought there would be no complications. I still questioned.

Then came the ultrasound.

All breath left me when I saw the tiny image and could clearly see the beating heart of the baby truly indeed growing inside me. It was all real. This is honestly when I first believed I was pregnant. I grabbed Shawn's hand as the doctor talked and took measurements. Then she printed the baby's first picture.